my world in 24 x 72 inches

Stories are the landscape of our lives. 
If the gods can commit acts of frailty,
then humans can have acts of the divine.

Alanna Kaivalya, teacher of yoga

 

This weekend I participated in a yoga seminar with Alanna Kaivalya...of course it was a weekend when I had about fifteen irons in the fire that I would schedule one more thing. 

 

It was absolutely life changing. 

 

It was tough to get there on a busy weekend...I felt moments when my core was being rubbed raw by my own frustrations and limiting thoughts...breathe through the pose...initially there were teardrops on my yoga mat because it was too much all at once. Moving through the postures (asanas) and the sacred teachings (sutras), I realized that despite all the searching and yearning to find the answers...all the time my truth has been within me. Freedom!  Profound! Exhausting! Enlightening!  What a joy to discover such gifts (presence) inside!  Here are some threads of wisdom to share with you...

 

Yoga is an mystical practice that teaches you to go internally and seek the eternal truths.

 

Every fear boils down to a fear of death.  Realize this is the way to release yourself into fearlessness.  There is a piece of us that will never die...it is our spirit or that which animates the body.

 

Suffering occurs in the mind.  Pain is inevitable. 
Suffering is optional.

 

Follow your bliss, go with what speaks to and inspires you
...this is what will free you.

 

What are the myths by which you are living?

 

What is it that inspires you, enlivens you
and connects you to your story?

 

Yoga does not look outside for solutions.  It goes inside where there can be a shift in perception where the problem becomes an opportunity...the revealer of possibilities.

 

Whatever I want to change in the world,
I can do it by changing one person...me.  -Byron Katie

 

The most valuable sources and resources come from within.  How about upgrading yourself to new thoughts instead of replaying those from the past or those of your worry?

 

The Source is in the heart...a little fire in the center or right side of the heart. 
It has been there all along and will not leave you. 
There is no need to go outside of ourselves because everything we need is within us.

 

Our best friends will be able to see without a doubt that we are capable of doing anything...
it is only when we believe in ourselves that we become the hero of our own story.

 

We are here to negotiate the relationships between heaven and earth--feet are on the earth, head is in heaven and the heart is where the negotiation happens.

 

Bad things happen in life...
this is the time to become the warrior.
A yogi explores both the light and the dark...
it is in the dark that we discover who we are.

 

You have to learn to lean into the sharp edges...like the yogi who lays on a bed of nails...by being fully there and balanced, there is no pain.  When we go into it gingerly,
we cannot do it and we feel the great pain.

 

When you do not bring forth the desire of your heart,
it will destroy you.

 

The stretching and bending in yoga tells you where you are tight and restricted in life as all the body has corresponding Chakras or energy centers which brings forth knowledge of our lives.

 

Yoga is the natural state.
There is no where to go, no where to be, and nothing to do. 
There is no graduation.
Yoga is the awareness of the present moment and
that all your power is NOW!

 

 Enlightenment happens for moments at a time and after awhile of practice it is always there.  But it is no big deal--you just finally realize who you are.  You still have to pay the bills and take out the trash.  It is becoming awesomely aware of everything and being okay with it.

 

Rip off all the layers, patterns, habits, guilts and judgments of yourself...
the more you peel off the easier yoga can come forth. 

 

Ignorance is believing that
we are anything other than divine.

 

We all have a thought train racing in our brain.  Yoga practice allows you to see the spaces in between the cargo, then to remove the cargo, and to slow down the train so you can see the world beyond your thoughts.

 

All animals are intrinsically afraid of fire and run away from it...it was when man ran toward the fire and harnessed it to make something useful that the world evolved.  Don't run away from the fear; go into the dark places...you will see who you are.  You cannot be destroyed. 
Matter and energy can neither be created nor destroyed.

 

Breathe in even patterns and bring yourself to balance.

 

Enlightenment isn't pulling yourself away from the challenges of life...you just stop letting things bother you and by doing this, you attract that which you dream and desire.

 

Enlightenment isn't special or exclusive but about the way you address the things that happen to you.  Change the patterns of your thoughts and change your world.

 

When disturbed by disturbing thoughts, think the opposite. 
When the event is done, it is done. 
Stop thinking of it and be free!

 

The answer is already there for you when you
come with the question.

 

To know and not to do is really not yet to know.--Buddha

 

And my million dollar question...did any of the enlightened masters have children?  The answer was very few...so if you have children like me, there is our work and  there are our teachers!!  Like Alanna's dog Roxie, they will speak to keep us on the path! Namaste!!

P.S. 24 x 72 is the size of an average yoga mat!

painting my debt ceiling

Never spend your money before you have earned it.

Thomas Jefferson, American President

Watching the decision-making process (or lack thereof) in Washington these past weeks has caused a lot of contemplation on the issue of spending. Earning an income to provide for our essentials and well deserved treats is a huge driving factor in our society. Whether it be eBay, Pottery Barn, the mall or Sally's home show, we love the excitement and freedom we derive from getting something new. Our power to choose and wheeling-dealing become a sport. Any homeowner could tell you that most of the fun of having a home is making it our own with cool items and one-of-a-kind finds.

But what happens when our purchases begin to infringe on our freedom...from debt, from worry, from not being able to get what we need? How high will we go to reach our own debt ceiling?

I have had my own challenges with this issue...a really good sale done one too many times leaves me with anxiety when the credit card statement arrives or realizing that all those "great deals" added up to a trip I have always wanted to take. Furthermore, challenges in spending causes stress in our relationships and ultimately can really make us feel powerless. The worse part of my job as a realtor is hearing that someone can't afford to move but can't afford to stay in their home by choice or by chance...our individual decisions end up costing us a lot. 

We can take this national debate and use it as a gift for our personal development. It can be a time of reflection on goals and our spending habits. Perhaps it is helpful to make a budget of wants and needs as well as room for savings. Sometimes it means honest to goodness window shopping where your hands stay in your pockets and away from your pocketbook. I tease my kids that it is like going to the art museum, "Admire, but don't touch!" We can take time to uncover the real needs of our souls...which is often nurturing or expression that doesn't cost a dime...so we can stop filling our lives with more stuff. Maybe we can find lasting freedom by not having a debtor on our back and knowing we have the power to live our lives as we choose.

Photo: Source

neat freak

Nothing comes from without.
All things come from within.

Neville Goddard, 1905-1972, Author Confession...even as a small child, I loved to organize...my room, my crayons, my clothes, my toys. Everything was in its place often in rainbow colored order because it just looks and feels better that way. My babysitter calls me the Neat Freak because I am always arranging and tidying. My attachment to order is getting refined by a Universe with a great sense of humor ...sending me three little beings to help me transcend this order thing...pronto!To them order distracts from the creative process...from self-expression...from "being a kid." I wonder about this sometimes...does my need for order curtail my joie de vivre? or is it teaching my children to be responsible to know where their things are? How can our worlds be in harmony when our outer expressions are so different?This weekend I spent hours cleaning out their spaces...finding things like Oreo wrappers, treasures from afternoon excursions, all my missing pairs of scissors, the sunscreen, the Scotch tape, the lost Phillips head screwdriver...they were trying to take down the ladder from their bunk bed...hmm. I had found that black hole in my universe where all things disappeared. In the beginning I was getting really frustrated because they obviously didn't get my gene in this department...but after a while, I had to laugh and try to see it through their eyes. I think it was when I found a pair of underwear tucked inside a small safe...well, you never know when you might need a spare!

When all was sparkling clean, I heard the sounds of excited voices..the kids were back and though they loved their clean rooms, they couldn't wait to play in them. I guess my sense of order sparks their creative process...and that is kind of cool...because home is where you need to feel you have a place and room to create. It is an inner balance of both the harmony of order and freedom to explore the limits. It was time to stop cleaning and join in the fun!

taking it in steps

The distance is nothing;

it is only the first step

that is difficult.

Madame Marie du Deffand, 1697-1780

French host and patron of the artsYou know how they always say "people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones?" Well, there is another adage that goes, "impatient people have no business purchasing 300 year old homes." For the last three months, I have been overseeing the refinishing of many rooms in our home, and despite the great progress we have made, I still find myself feeling overwhelmed and frustrated that it isn't the way I want it. I see the image in my mind, I can feel the air, see the light and smell the coffee...but it just won't go fast enough. When I was younger, I considered this the thrill of the chase...but as I "mature," I find the chase less thrilling because I JUST WANT IT DONE!!! No more dust, no more spill clothes, and everything in place. How easy it is to wave aside progress when we have certain ideals in our mind. We miss the little victories and forget to toast our accomplishments. Great philosophers have said we can avoid the frustration by staying aware of the present moment, and when you are creating a home what is more important than those little steps, that become big memories of the great things you have achieved? One thing I have begun to be more attentive to is to take pictures and start to document the before and after...so there is a visual reminder of the road travelled. Believe me, it helps keep you sane! In the same way, we need to look back at the memories of our lives...all those pictures and videos that document who you were...and celebrate all the steps that have brought you to where you are today!

underground railroads

Every great dream begins with a dreamer.  Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.

Harriet Tubman, leader of the Underground Railroad, Abolitionist, Humanitarian

There is a legend that goes with my new home...that it was part of the Underground Railroad...a stop on the line that led slaves to freedom.  Naturally we are very curious to find out more of the history and of the people who lived in this space.  We like the idea that they were freedom loving people who chose to quietly and secretly do the right thing.
It is inspiring to be in their home.

 Currently I am working with the Kennett Underground Railroad Center to research if the legend is true...I will keep you posted on what we find out.  During our "keep" we are collecting bits and pieces, photos, maps, deeds, etc. so that the history can live on...the work of passionate dreamers who lived through some very interesting moments.  This exercise really helps keep things in perspective...especially when times seem extra challenging....

"take heart passionate dreamer and look to the stars!" 

What is the history of your home?  Why not take time this month to remember as much as you can, and if you get a chance, write it down, gather photos, and papers that have details of changes and major events...you never know who may want to know more about it.

seeing our shadow

"Did you ever have de ja vu, Mrs. Lancaster?"

"I don't think so, but I could check with the kitchen"

Phil Conors (Bill Murray) Groundhog Day.

If you haven't ever seen the movie Groundhog's Day with Bill Murray...run out and get a copy today. In brief, it is the story of Phil Conors, a weatherman, who goes to Punxsutawny, PA to witness if the groundhog sees his shadow. He wakes up to the same day over and again until he learns the lesson of becoming a better man. (That is really a nutshell and hardly does justice to the movie..."Am I right? Or am I right?")
We have been going through our own de ja vu as we have had repeated snow days here in eastern Pennsylvania...each day getting more extreme than the next. We definitely got to see our shadow side as cabin fever set in, and three kids who are dealing with all the pressures of the move let me have it.
Granted, life has changed dramatically for them...we have moved to a new country home that is very much the opposite of our former one, they are taking the school bus, in school with hundreds of kids, routines are different, missing friends...and suddenly we are reliving the same thing every day of "I wanna go home!!"
Moving with kids, much like the story of Phil Conors is about learning something new and becoming better than we were yesterday. At times, it is one step forward and two steps back, but learning to be patient and realizing this is a huge adjustment for everyone helps tremendously. Stop. Breathe. Find a good local restaurant for take-out and eat in the living room...show them that turning the world upside down can be great!
Many of the things we are discovering are fun...like the long icy driveway that is the best for skating and the mom-and-pop stores that wield treasures not found in chains, the hopes of spring and warmer weather...so we can open the pool!

only the best

I have the simplest tastes.

I am always satisfied with the best.

Oscar Wilde, Irish Poet & NovelistWith the holidays behind us and most of the boxes unpacked, I am going to start sharing my home with you. The rooms are cozy, but there is much work to be done. Because I love to make a house a home, I am completely inspired by this challenge. Yet, I am waiting and watching for only the best. Why wait you may ask? I am waiting because over the years of redecorating rooms, I developed quite a habit of looking for bargains...great deals whether I needed them or not. When we moved, I realized just how many "bargains" I had collected...many no longer worked in my space. My "bargains" added up to more than one really good piece would have cost.
When we moved to Pennfield, I made a conscious decision to do it differently. Despite the great challenge to start changing and rearranging, I am taking time to learn this house in order to find exactly what needs to be here. It is the type of home that needs more than just the usual. Taking steps rather than "a room in a day" approach is going to create a home that respects the history and feel of this place.
But even with great restraint, there are things that cannot wait. First on the list is to paint all the trim...I can live in any house so long as the trim is in a beautiful soft shade of white. Historic colors are often mistaken as only these dark, dreary ones...but that isn't my style. As we make up the rooms we will show the progress, and I invite you to share your ideas.
And remember long ago when I wrote about my dream of a black and white checkerboard floor in my house? Voila!! Ask and you shall receive! Anything is possible...especially as you seek for the best!

10 challenges of my new home

I always entertain great hopes.
-Robert Frost, American Poet

Now that we have made it through settlement...it is starting to settle in...buying a 300 year old house does have its challenges. Not that I am one to run from a good challenge, but truth be told, there have been moments when I have questioned whether or not I over-did it this time. While I am absolutely in love and knew this place was the perfect home, there is a slight chance my rosy-colored glasses kept me from seeing the reality of all the work in store. Here are my ten challenges of my new home:

1. If the picture above didn't scare you away and you are still reading, you can guess my number one challenge...they don't pay the rent or clean up after themselves. Completely cute to their mother I am sure, but there's a reason we scream. Not sure how to evict them because they have been here longer. I have already been forbidden to get a cat since everyone in the house is sure they are allergic...stay tuned.
2. Chilly...never before have I used my sweaters more...should have been tipped off by all the fireplaces. Unfortunately someone along the line-up decided all the fireplace chimneys should be closed...most likely to keep out drafts, but how toasty would that be to have a fire in every one? Everyone is getting comforters and slippers for Christmas...need I say more?
3. Two-pronged outlets and having only one outlet in a room...if you are lucky. We have found outlets that must have been put there for status symbols because there is no wiring to make them live...all show and no volts. My very patient father-in-law came to the rescue with a bunch of grounded outlets...so zen!
4. Plaster walls...how do you hang anything on them and how do you fill in a hole that was a "whoops!"? You do have the benefit of quiet space because the walls are about 18 inches thick.
5. Period paint colors and windows being painted shut. Although I have done my share of painting, this one is going to be saved for a professional. We are just going to go room by room. Let me know if you have a favorite painter who knows older homes as I would love references.
6. Fitting my furniture in the assorted rooms sizes. Pottery Barn is a relatively new creation that doesn't necessarily work in the 18th century home, and this is a challenge when your pre-teen wants her room to look like the magazine.
7. Smaller closets...brings to mind the saying, "Live simply so that others may simply live." There is not enough room to change your mind in these closets...choose fewer and choose the best especially when it comes to shoes. Someone told me that they built them smaller so they would not be taxed for another "room"...I would have paid the tax.
8. Appliances that passed inspection, but mysteriously are not functioning the moment your pen touches the HUD1. Who was Murphy, and what's the deal with his law?
9. Cleaning up where someone left off...I am investing in a good vacuum and a good rake. Sometimes when people are moving out, they run out of time to leave it ship-shape for you. Be prepared to get busy right away.
10. My basement and attic that are the perfect sight for National Treasure 3. Someday they will be beautiful.

My brother said it best when he visited this weekend, "You have a project for every weekend for a 1,000 weeks." We are lucky to be in this home and over time like anything else, we will learn and grow from it. Whatever love we give this house will come right back to us as we transform this timeless space into our home. I'm still a believer!