neat freak

Nothing comes from without.
All things come from within.

Neville Goddard, 1905-1972, Author Confession...even as a small child, I loved to organize...my room, my crayons, my clothes, my toys. Everything was in its place often in rainbow colored order because it just looks and feels better that way. My babysitter calls me the Neat Freak because I am always arranging and tidying. My attachment to order is getting refined by a Universe with a great sense of humor ...sending me three little beings to help me transcend this order thing...pronto!To them order distracts from the creative process...from self-expression...from "being a kid." I wonder about this sometimes...does my need for order curtail my joie de vivre? or is it teaching my children to be responsible to know where their things are? How can our worlds be in harmony when our outer expressions are so different?This weekend I spent hours cleaning out their spaces...finding things like Oreo wrappers, treasures from afternoon excursions, all my missing pairs of scissors, the sunscreen, the Scotch tape, the lost Phillips head screwdriver...they were trying to take down the ladder from their bunk bed...hmm. I had found that black hole in my universe where all things disappeared. In the beginning I was getting really frustrated because they obviously didn't get my gene in this department...but after a while, I had to laugh and try to see it through their eyes. I think it was when I found a pair of underwear tucked inside a small safe...well, you never know when you might need a spare!

When all was sparkling clean, I heard the sounds of excited voices..the kids were back and though they loved their clean rooms, they couldn't wait to play in them. I guess my sense of order sparks their creative process...and that is kind of cool...because home is where you need to feel you have a place and room to create. It is an inner balance of both the harmony of order and freedom to explore the limits. It was time to stop cleaning and join in the fun!

taking it in steps

The distance is nothing;

it is only the first step

that is difficult.

Madame Marie du Deffand, 1697-1780

French host and patron of the artsYou know how they always say "people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones?" Well, there is another adage that goes, "impatient people have no business purchasing 300 year old homes." For the last three months, I have been overseeing the refinishing of many rooms in our home, and despite the great progress we have made, I still find myself feeling overwhelmed and frustrated that it isn't the way I want it. I see the image in my mind, I can feel the air, see the light and smell the coffee...but it just won't go fast enough. When I was younger, I considered this the thrill of the chase...but as I "mature," I find the chase less thrilling because I JUST WANT IT DONE!!! No more dust, no more spill clothes, and everything in place. How easy it is to wave aside progress when we have certain ideals in our mind. We miss the little victories and forget to toast our accomplishments. Great philosophers have said we can avoid the frustration by staying aware of the present moment, and when you are creating a home what is more important than those little steps, that become big memories of the great things you have achieved? One thing I have begun to be more attentive to is to take pictures and start to document the before and after...so there is a visual reminder of the road travelled. Believe me, it helps keep you sane! In the same way, we need to look back at the memories of our lives...all those pictures and videos that document who you were...and celebrate all the steps that have brought you to where you are today!

seeing our shadow

"Did you ever have de ja vu, Mrs. Lancaster?"

"I don't think so, but I could check with the kitchen"

Phil Conors (Bill Murray) Groundhog Day.

If you haven't ever seen the movie Groundhog's Day with Bill Murray...run out and get a copy today. In brief, it is the story of Phil Conors, a weatherman, who goes to Punxsutawny, PA to witness if the groundhog sees his shadow. He wakes up to the same day over and again until he learns the lesson of becoming a better man. (That is really a nutshell and hardly does justice to the movie..."Am I right? Or am I right?")
We have been going through our own de ja vu as we have had repeated snow days here in eastern Pennsylvania...each day getting more extreme than the next. We definitely got to see our shadow side as cabin fever set in, and three kids who are dealing with all the pressures of the move let me have it.
Granted, life has changed dramatically for them...we have moved to a new country home that is very much the opposite of our former one, they are taking the school bus, in school with hundreds of kids, routines are different, missing friends...and suddenly we are reliving the same thing every day of "I wanna go home!!"
Moving with kids, much like the story of Phil Conors is about learning something new and becoming better than we were yesterday. At times, it is one step forward and two steps back, but learning to be patient and realizing this is a huge adjustment for everyone helps tremendously. Stop. Breathe. Find a good local restaurant for take-out and eat in the living room...show them that turning the world upside down can be great!
Many of the things we are discovering are fun...like the long icy driveway that is the best for skating and the mom-and-pop stores that wield treasures not found in chains, the hopes of spring and warmer weather...so we can open the pool!

a day for dads

He didn't tell me how to live;

he lived, and let me watch him do it.

 -Clarence Budington Kelland, American author

Ten things my dad taught me:

• Always shine your shoes...it says a lot about you.
• Never underestimate the impact of spray paint, magic markers and duct tape...you can re-create the world with these.
• Start every day with a good breakfast.
• Make time to read and listen to good music.
• When things get too crazy, give yourself a time out to walk or take a drive.
• When you do a job, make sure you give it your best.  He always told me, "Give 'em hell, Harry!"
• Be honest.  It doesn't matter who else knows.  But you do.
• Trust in God even when it doesn't make sense.
• Never give up on your children.
• Get to bed early so you can be up to see the sunrise.

To my dad and to dads everywhere...have a fabulous Father's Day!